Human Chorionic Gonadoptropin

            “Honey, can you get me J-Co doughnut, please?!” It was my mother’s voice. She was in the shower, so she had to shout a little bit because it was raining outside the hotel.  I could hear a drizzle sound tapping in the hotel’s room windows from the outside. The first rain drops day in KL this year. It was the 9^th January 2009. 

“Ok…., but is there anything else you want other than just doughnut?”

My dad big deep voice was from outside the bathroom. Two seconds later, he popped his head in the bathroom and repeated his question.

“Yes of course…, get me also the same breakfast set you got me yesterday, but no chilly sauce for me, please” my mother answered.

“Are you sure you don’t want something else different today?” “You have nasi lemak for three days in a row now, plus half a dozen of J-Co each day? “Maybe some fruits…?” My dad tried suggesting some choices.

Apparently my mother had not changed her selection of foods in the last three days.  And the doughnut thing? Goodness me, she could finish half a dozen of them in one go.  What was up with that sweet stuff anyway?!  I could not imagine that it was good for her. And for sure if they were not good for her, it would not be good for me and my two other companion either. Unfortunately, I had to eat them. I would not want to get hungry.  I would need any food source I could get at this stage of development. I would like to stay alive.

“Nope, I don’t want anything else.  Don’t forget the J-Co doughnut, please” my mother’s final word, and then she got out of the bathroom poked her head towards my dad with a big smile on her face.  My dad could not argue any further.

“You have to hurry, hon!. We have to be at the doctor’s clinic at 10:00 am” continued my mother when my dad was about to get out of the hotel room.

“I am on it, and will be back in a sec” shouted my dad and closed the door behind him.

My mother sat down in bed facing the hotel windows. It was still drizzling a little bit outside the hotel, but slowly I could see the shade of the sun shone replacing the grey clouds in the sky.  Her feet as usual were supported by some pillows again. She reached out to the book near the night stand by the bed.  She had been reading it yesterday, and this one was called “Pregnancy week by week”.  As usual I got very excited every time my mother was reading a book on pregnancy. I would also attentively peek through my mother’s eyes for all the information related to my existence.

This time it was about Human Chorionic Gonadoptropin.  The book explained that this so called HCG level would indicate the presence or absence of an implanted embryo.  For a second, my mind flashed back to the two weeks ago when I was implanted in my mother’s womb. My mother went on to read the text in the book. It continued to explain that the HCG would interact with the LHCG receptor and would promotes the maintenance of the corpus luteum during the beginning of pregnancy, and causing it to secrete the hormone progesterone.  The progesterone then would enrich the uterus with a thick lining of blood vessels and capillaries so that it could sustain the growing fetus. 

Phew…that was a very lengthy unfamiliar explanation. I looked at my mother’s face and weigh what she comprehended out of that information. Judging by her expression I could tell that she was a little bit nervous.  I didn’t know what the information would mean to her though. For me, I was not sure what would they mean either, but at least I gathered that I and my two other companion were called embryos in these last few days. I would also guess that soon enough the three of us would be called fetuses.

I wondered why there were so many changes of name in yet such a short time of our existence. Why would not we have just one name to make it simple? Luckily those names all sounded very interesting to my ears to be.  I was interested to know how many more names we would be getting until we were out of my mother’s womb, until we were finally delivered to the world. Curiosity crept into my mind, and with the corner of my eyes to be, I gazed at my two companions. I could see that they were both smiled at me with the same expression. I smiled back at them with a relief feeling that I was not alone interested in the evolution.

My dad came back with my mother’s food request.  My mother put down the book, sat up right, and went to inspect the bag of food.  She started with the nasi lemak.  I noticed my dad had a cup of Starbucks Grande Macchiato and a couple of chocolate muffins for himself.  My dad was no difference after all.  He was a chocoholic to my opinion because he was also eating the same thing for breakfast in almost every day we stayed in this hotel. So there they were both my parents consumed the full calories and fatty breakfast contents in the last week we stayed in this hotel. I could just imagine what they would look like if they continued their eating menus like that for ever.

I turned my eyes back and forth to my mother and my dad.  Unlike my mother who looked bigger by the day, my dad posture actually looked quite slim. And unlike my mother who didn’t like to walk much, my dad was quite a keen walker.  He would walk to almost every where he wanted to go within a 5 miles radius.  He also did some exercise on a daily basis.  In the last couple of weeks alone, he had run twice a day at the KL Convention Center jogging tract. So he seemed pretty fit and healthy to me.  I started to speculate if my mother would at least do some leisurely walk outside the hotel room in the near future.  That would be fun.  Somehow I would like to see some places in KL before we go back to Jakarta.

My dad ordered a taxi from the concierge while my mother got ready to go out of the hotel room for the first time in two weeks.  We would have to see the doctor this morning to get me and my two companions a check-up.  This would be the first check up after the doctor implanted us in my mother’s womb.  I was a bit nervous, and I reckoned the other twos felt the same. My mother was still combing her hairs again and again for already almost 10 minutes.  I bet she was more nervous than all of us, including my dad.  My dad looked at his wrist watch a third time and then he started to get to the door.

“Ok honey, we have to get going.  It is 09:00 am already” my dad pointed to his watch when he said that. “We don’t want to make the doctor waiting for us, do we?”

“Okay…okay, I am coming” said my mother. Her voice a little bit irritated.

“Let me go to the toilet one more time” she continued still with the comb in her hand. My dad grabbed my mother’s purse and stood by the door waiting for my mother finishing up her final grooming.

The taxi ride to the hospital felt like ages, though it was only taken more or less 15 minutes. There was no traffic this morning, which was unusual for KL. As soon as we arrived, my mother got off the taxi very carefully and walked to the hospital door entrance slowly.  She really took her time.  My dad walked slightly ahead of my mother, but his hand was holding my mother’s hand. I noticed my mother’s free hand was placed on her womb. It blocked my few of a morning sun a little bit. They walked in silence. I could only hear my mother’s heart beat. 

At the registration counter in the main hall, we were greeted by few nurses. The nurses at this hospital were not only friendly, but they were also very attentive and helpful.  My parents liked them very much. After assisted by one of the nurse, my dad and my mother’s were ushered to the doctor’s office.  It was very quite in there. There was a bed not far from the doctor’s desk, and there were various appliances and hanging from the post at the head of the bed. The nurse said that we were the first in the list that morning and that the doctor will be in soon.  My dad placed his hand on my mother’s right shoulder and stroked it gently. She leaned towards my dad and laid her head at my dad’s shoulder.  Her eyes closed.

It was nearly 09:30 am. The nurse came back again with a plastic cup and something else I could not see clearly.  Then my mother was asked to go to the toilet which adjacent to the doctor’s waiting room, and told her to pee in the cup she just handed out to her.  My mother refused when my dad offer her to accompany her to the toilet. My mother came out of the toilet with the cup almost full with a yellowish liquid and gave it to the nurse.  And then the nurse asked my mother to sit on the bed not far from the doctor’s table.  I was not sure what the nurse was doing, but I could hear my mother said “Ouch!”  Five second later, I could see a tube with a dark red liquid on her hand.  That surely was my mother’s blood. Then the nurse left us again alone in the doctor’s office.

“Good morning Mr. and Mrs. Childs!” a fresh friendly greetings burst through the door. Ah…Dr. Wong was here.  He was cheerful and full of smile.  It was exactly 10:00 am sharp. He was very punctual. 

“Good morning doctor Wong!” my dad and my mother greeted back in unison. My dad extended his arm to shake hand with the doctor.  My mother was just smiled at the doctor.

“Okay, let us have you checked now. If you don’t mind, lay down in bed and the nurse will help you with your clothes” said the doctor.  “Are you nervous?” the doctor again but the question was address to my dad.

“Very much!” said my dad with a smile on his face.  I looked at my mother being undressed by the nurse and then laid down in bed. I could feel her heart beat a little bit faster than usual.

The doctor pulled something from the head of the bed and greased it with some liquid gel, greased my mother's belly and then he placed the thing at my mother’s belly. He also turned on a knob and suddenly the screen on the wall next to the bed was on.  He asked my mother and my dad to look at the screen while the thing in his hand was still on top of my mother’s belly.  He circled and circled around the slippery thing on my mother’s belly and then stopped.

“You see that spot inside your womb there…, that was the three embryos that we planted two weeks ago” the doctor pointed to the screen.  My dad and my mother tried hard to focus and look at what the doctor’s pointing out what seemed to be as a small dot in the screen.  They didn’t say anything but a quick “Oh”

“Well, we can not see much at the moment, it’s still too early and very small to be captured into any form” the doctor again.

“But rest assured, at the moment they were right there and correctly placed in your uterus wall lining” the doctor continued and lifted the jelly cooled apparatus from my mother’s belly and wiped it with a tissue paper. He asked the nurse to help cleaned my mother’s belly too. 

“Now let us see what the urine and blood test result says” said the doctor after my dad and my mother sat on the chair at the doctor’s desk.

Again, I could feel my mother’s heart beat thumping faster.  My dad was tried to be calm but I saw his fingers twined closely with my mother’s. No doubt he was as nervous as my mother. I was trying to communicate with my mother but it was just not possible at the moment.  I really wish I could tell my mother and my dad too, that I and my other two companions were fine inside her womb. I wish I could tell her that she didn’t have to worry.  At least she didn’t have to, not for now. 

“Let’s see.., your HCG level is 1026 mIU/mL, that is very high than a normal pregnancy” the doctor explained. “So…a Big Yes, you are positively pregnant!” exclaimed the doctor. 

“Really doc?” my mother’s face still looked puzzled. “I am now pregnant for sure!” my mother’s voice a little bit in disbelief, but her face was suddenly glowing and her eyes gleamed.

“Wow! “Thank you doctor….thank you….thank you! I heard my dad murmuring, not able to say anything else, but thanking the doctor.  His face was so happy and slowly tears filled his blue eyes.  His fingers were still inter-twined with my mothers.

“Yes, you are pregnant, and judging by the high of your HCG level, it is possible that you will have multiple babies” the doctors looked at my mother and my dad alternately.  My mother still could not say much, as she was still trying to absorb the overwhelming good news.

“So, when you get back in Jakarta, should see a doctor again in two weeks time, by then you can already tell if you have more than one baby inside your womb” said the doctor still with a smile.

“Congratulation!" said the doctor to my mother. "And to you too Mr. Childs" the doctor turned to my dad.

“And for you Mr. Childs, you should help her during this pregnancy and make sure she is happy and away from stress, Ok?” he looked at my dad who was still busy wiping his eyes.  He couldn’t help shedding tears, but he surely very happy man now.

“Remember in your case, and at your age, this will be a high risk pregnancy Mrs. Childs. So you should really make all the effort to get a lot of rest and eat healthy” the doctors turned to my mother again. 

Wow…a high risk pregnancy!? What would that mean? Why would it high risk?  I was ok so far, and so did my other two companions. We would not cause my mother any problem I hope.  I wish the doctor explained more about it.  I tried to look at the doctor’s face, and then turned to my mother’s, then to my dad’s.  But there were no clear answers in their faces. So, I guessed I have to wait and try to find out about it next time my mother read that book on pregnancy again.

“Yes doctor, I will, we will do anything to keep this pregnancy as healthy as possible” said my mother with a firm voice.  Her voice gave me a calm reassurance that the high risk pregnancy the doctor said was not to something for me to worry about.  

“Thank you doctor, thank you” my dad said again and then he stood up, extend his arm and shook hand with the doctor.  My mother followed the same, thanking the doctor repeatedly with a very big relief smile on her face.

“Already then, keep me posted on the development, and do not hesitate to contact me if you need my advise anytime” said Doctor Wong. He handed out some paperwork to my dad and then walked us out to the door.

For my mother and my dad the morning and the rest of the day were filled with smile of happiness. And I was sure as the sun rises, that their hearts will be happy for ever and after from now onward.  The HCG level mystery was answered. Yes, there was indeed more than one occupant in my mother’s womb at the moment.  I took a deep sight, feeling very happy for both my parents. The other two companions of mine were also seemed to be relief with the finding. We gazed at each others with the feeling of contentment, but I could still sense a presence of doubt in the corner of their eyes to be.  For the three of us, from now onward it would be a serial of survival to the next chapter of our existence. At this stage, as fetuses.

And the battle begins

Days came to a week one. I felt stronger. So did my two other companion slashed competitors.  I had not made any attempt to communicate with my neighbors.  We all seemed to be quiet and kept things to ourselves.  I guessed each of us still need sometimes for adjustment with our new habitat….my mother’s womb that is.  Once in a while we secretly stared from the corner of our eyes, figuring out each others state of developments. It was a little bit intimidating to comprehend that each of us would probably need to perform our best to live, grow and survive in the first few weeks ahead of us. Each of us somehow sensed that there were elements of danger around that would implicate in our early stages of survival. 

Through my mother’s eyes, I discreetly peeped at the book she read, Need to Know-Pregnancy – by Harriet Sharkey.  Her face expression was serious but I could feel her body relaxed. She put her feet up straight in bed supported with a pillow, and I wondered why she needed to do that. My dad was not anywhere in the room.  He had gone down to the hotel’s restaurant downstairs for breakfast while my mother insisted to have ‘breakfast in bed’’, and by that it would apply to ‘lunch’ and ‘dinner’ as well.  She was still determined to obey the “bed-rest” totally.  My mother flipped and glanced at the pages of the book in her hand leisurely and then stopped at page 63.

Your partner ejaculates as many as 300 million sperms as you make love. Only one will unite with your egg. The instant the strongest sperm reach your egg is the first decisive moment in your future baby’s life.  Whoa! 300 millions? That was shocking news! That shocked me at least.  That maybe shocked the other two companions too. My mother’s doctor and his team must have been really tough jury in selecting process of whose going to end up at the jar for the IVF session.  I felt triumph and exaltation in my conscience and for a split second I could feel goose-bumps all over the flat surface form of my existence.  I was chosen.  Together with the other two companion.

It was once though that sperm penetrated the outer coating of the egg by realizing enzymes. Today, science suggests an egg opens its outer membrane and embraces a single sperm.  Could it be that egg and sperm select each other?  Well…I could tell you now that in my case and my two other companion’s that obviously was not how it worked.  We were selected prior to that process and by the current available technological innovation we were chosen to by-passed the sexy conservative ritual.  I glanced at my mother’s face as I heard her heaved a soft sigh while her hands lifted and adjusted her spectacles and read on.

Once inside, your partner’s sperm sheds its tail and body and its head fuses with your egg’s nucleus. The new cell that is created is called zygote.  Aha!, so…that what they called me at this stage…a zygote.  That was kind of a cute name….zygote, and I guessed I would be zygote number one, and the other two would by zygote number two and zygote number three.  I wondered if that was the order of the numbering. I would hope so since I was the first to take up residence at my mother’s womb. But did it matter? Would it make any difference? I was not convinced.  There should be more to it than just numbering. We would need to demonstrate growth and development for one thing. We would need to upgrade our status from zygote to….hmm…what would be next?

Your body adapts to provide the nutrition and protection your baby needs, and your growing baby is primed to get the very best from the womb environment. Nature works in you favor, and what you eat, how you feel, what’s happening in your life also have an effect. Ok…I see…the next determining factors of what we become would be my mother’s womb and how well she would nurture her mental and physical condition. So far I felt comfy and homely inside. I don’t know what the others would say, but looking at their forms, they came to a good start as well.  I would say we were all would have the same percentage of survival here. On our part, the determining factor would be how much we would like to succeed.

Unexpectedly I felt my head spinning….that of course presuming I have formed a head in my zygotty stage. I was sure my forehead, again presuming I had one already, showed lines that indicated I was thinking hard.  I started to shape and strategize my plan.  What would I have to do to be ahead of my other two companion slashed competitors.  Where would I seek extra advises of survival. Would the doctor give me any guidance? Would my mother lend me a hand in this case? Would my dad have a clue to what should be done from now onward and forward? To keep me exist. Please…please help me. 

My mother turned her body to one side of the bed, having her feet crossed the left one on top of the right ones.  One of her hands reached out to the side bed table and grabbed her breakfast tray. Bacon, eggs, red beans and two slices of toasts. There was a glass of water and a glass of tomato juice on the side.  Not bad. Not that my mother needed my approval, but I considered the classic basic breakfast menu was sufficient. She put down the book and stopped reading. She turned the TV on and then unhurriedly started to have a bite of the bacon.

I wish I could tell my mother to flip another page on the book and seek for more information and explanation on my participation in this course.  I was curious what would happen next.  I gazed to my right and left, and there I noticed two sets of eyes with the same interrogative expression pierced at my direction. Of course, we were all in this together, what was I thinking? We were here with similar interest. Of course they would be as curious as I would. They would potentially become my siblings after all.  Of course we would all fight for our existences and we would all aim at winning our mother’s heart. But would I battle fairly? Should I? The answer would be.....an opportunity. And as the old saying ‘may the best man standing’ or… something like that.

My first day minus 38 weeks

First day minus 38 weeks

It was all started today. We were in a Novotel Hotel - Kuala Lumpur, the busiest capital city of Malaysia. Typical city in a tropical part of the world, it's humid. Sun is shining harshly, piercing through the bone. My mother's face was sweaty and tired even though my dad had turned on the hotel room AC into a blast mode with fan-full swing in order to get the temperature cooler. He aimed for 26 degrees Celsius.  My mother sat at the edge of the extra king-size bed, feeling exhausted after the semi-rough taxi ride from the Tropicana Hospital in down town KL. 

The taxi driver, despite my dad's thorough explanation on my mother's condition, cruised fast and jerkily maneuvered his way along the busy road from the hospital to the hotel. "The city central will be jammed, if we don't rush, you know" the taxi driver provided explanation to my dad's questioning look. My mother was already started complaining at the back seat, and threatened to get out of the taxi.  My dad calmed my mother and said it only a matter of another 10 minutes. Besides it was quite difficult to get a taxi at that time of day and with my mother's condition, it would cost more inconvenience to have to wait for another taxi to come by. 

So my mother had to endure the journey. She was trying to stay calm. With one hand gripped the hand-rest to keep her from moving from side to side of the taxi, and the other hand pressed to her belly as if to keep it from moving around too. I was sure that my mother was very concerned and worried about her belly.  Her face showed it all...the twist in the corner of her mouth, her strong jolting black eye lashes almost crossed together and the tiny spots of sweats all over her forehead.

This was my first day minus 38 weeks. It was 3 days after I was conceived in a small hygienic glass jar under the supervision of a very skillful team of experts of In-vitro Fertilization of the Tropicana Hospital. This was the day when the team of doctors carefully undergone the procedure on my mother, the time they inserted back and attached me into my mother's womb. The day that my dad and my mother never stopped holding each other's hands and whispered quietly with the high degree of desperation, wishing and hoping that I will grab the wall, live and grow inside of my mother's womb for the next 38 weeks. I was sure it was not a pleasant procedure, and the cold and auras of the hospital surgery room were enough to make my mother's face white as cotton sheets of the operating table. My dad's face was also desperate and full of anticipation. 

I felt a great amount of sympathy on both my parent's desperation for sure, after all....they had been through similar procedure before and this was their 5th attempt. They had also taken advises on various methods and alternatives medical suggestions prior to that. They had taken in all experts tip dips.  They also listened to what so many couples sharing experiences and tried to make a sense of it.  They had said many prayers nights and days. At least, for sure my mother did in her Christian believe.  My dad....I don't know for sure, but I think he did pray, someway or the other.  So, I guessed it was only fair and right that in about 38 weeks from now they would deserve my existence to the intriguing place my dad and my mother called the earth...the world.

My mother asked my dad to get her some foods and drinks.  She said she would take a rest in bed and try not to move if not necessary.  She took the doctor's advice on 'bed-rest' very literally and obediently. She was only getting out of bed when she was urgently needed to go to the toilet.  I saw my dad smiled a little bit but he didn't make a comment and instead he agreeably did what my mother asked him to do and rushed for the errand.  My mother closed her eyes...still looked exhausted and in pain from the post surgery. She stayed still with her hands on top of her belly, caressing it gently as if she worried that her tender strokes would hurt me.  

I was lying still in the wall of my mother’s womb, trying to get the new sense of my new inhabitance. I felt so close and attached to the skin of the wall of my mother's womb.  I looked around and then I realized I was not alone. There were two others latched to the same wall not far from me. Quietly I scrutinized and gazed at both of them in turn. They were about the same sizes as me, and by the look of them they could be as healthy and strong as me. So, I was not the only one being put back and attached to my mother's womb. Hm...Suddenly I felt a little bit uneasy. My first instinct and sense of competition came rushing to my form of existence.

I looked at them again and tried to measure their ability and possibility to survive together in this comfortable, warm and cozy environment of my mother's womb. Would I like to be accompanied by two others? Would it be enough space? Maybe it would, for now....! But to be crowded with two others for the next 38 weeks...and the days, and weeks, and years after that? I was not sure and I would not know the answer to that. What I know now was to make plan.....plan to survive for the next 38 weeks.  I would first have to prove to my mother that I was a chosen one. The one meant to be existed. So there started the competition, on the first day of my existence.